I know all moms with young children have plenty of these red-faced moments...
We headed out for our weekly trip to the "Wittle" library. Before leaving, I made sure both girls were dressed all cute and adorable, hair neatly styled, etc... (Well, Elianna's anyway. Not much I can do with Selah's fuzz.) Anyway, when we get there, this older woman comes up and smiles at them. Selah was sitting in the stroller, and Elianna was playing the computer. The lady says, "Let me guess, Daddy must be blond!" I get this a lot, so I just laughed and said, "Yep, sure is!" She leaned down, and Selah giggled at her. "Oh, they are just too sweet, look at how adorable they are!" The lady is going on and on, and I am quite proud... until I look down at Selah and realize the pink and mostly white outfit she is wearing is SPLATTERED with bright orange spit-up! She never spits up, let alone this much. So naturally it had to be now that someone was all leaning in to admire her that her clothes had to be adorned with leathery chunks of dried semi-digested sweet potato and turkey. To make matters worse, the lady turned to Elianna and said, "And look at you, with your beautiful dark eyes and hair! You must be just like Mommy!" Elianna was cheesing it up for her, tossing her hair around with all the finesse of a Breck model, when I heard a faint pffffffft. I closed my eyes and prayed the lady didn't hear the ominous noises emanating from my "beautiful" princess's little booty. If she didn't hear it, she certainly noticed it moments later when the odor began peeling the wallpaper off the walls. I gathered up my girls and headed for the counter as quickly as possible. I felt like saying, "Okay, we're just going to pick up our welfare check and head back on down yonder to our trailer." I am only praying that all all the effort we put into civilizing these wild animals pays off someday. Or maybe we can just marry them off young.
Rejoicing in the Inheritance
9 years ago
6 comments:
I know that these are embarrassing to you but the way you re tell them is so funny. I love it.
I can look back now and giggle, but at the time it doesn't seem very funny. I think it's just instinct to want to appear like you are doing a good job, being a good mom, etc... so when your munchkins act like, well, like normal children it's not always what society would view as "acceptable." I'm not sure if it gets better as they grow older, or if they will just think of new and worse ways to embarrass me.
I agree with her! The way you write these moments are just hilarious!! I love it!!
Well actually it will be us that embarrass them when they grow up
That's true - I fully intend to keep track of all these public humiliations and return the favor. I could always do what my mom did, yell out the door as I was going to a sleepover, "Now when you shower remember to wash your underarms!" I wanted to crawl under a rock. So yeah, that would be a good one to use on Elianna in, say, 11 years or so.
You are strangely cruel. You are so cool, I want to be just like you when I grow up!
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