If you want pictures...

I know my posts have been boring lately, so if you want to see cute pics of my kids you can always head over to Grandma's blog!! Heck, that's how I keep up with what they're doing lately... I have hundreds of pictures in my computer, but no energy to upload them.

A tale of two babies

Chad and I went for an 18-week ultrasound today. Normally this is a 20-week scan, but my doctor wanted me to go earlier so we can make sure we catch the twin-twin transfusion right away should they have it. I will be going back every couple weeks so they can monitor the babies' sizes, growth rates, and levels of amniotic fluid. We will know within a month if I need the surgery, and then I will have a couple weeks from that point to get it. Needless to say, the next six weeks are going to be nail-biters for us!!!! I am trying not to think about all the details of the surgery, like how we will come up with the $30,000+ if our insurance doesn't cover it, planning an out-of-state trip to a specialist that will perform the surgery (my doctor recommends a practice in Florida), finding a hotel, arranging child care... not to mention the idea of them cutting me open and zapping my tiny babies with a laser... Let's just pray they share the placenta without any issues!!!!! One is already a bit bigger, but they assured me that no two babies are identical in size, so it might not mean anything. As long as they both grow at approximately the same rate we're okay.

I know you've just scanned over that last paragraph to get to the juicy details. Yes, we found out the genders, and... It's a BOY... and a BOY!!!!! Yeppers - two of them!!! Yikes! They are still suspecting they are identical, but I guess you can't know absolutely for sure until they're born and you get a blood test. So, this will be another adventure for us!

Thankful

I know I tended to be negative in my last couple posts, so I thought I would post all the positive things I am thankful for!!

*After two more medication changes, my nausea and vomiting has been cut down to about 1/4 what it was. I was even able to take a shower on my own. Up till now, I've had to sit in a shower chair while Chad washed my hair and helped me wash. This is not as romantic as it sounds, since most of the time I was heaving my guts out in the process. Also, I have been able to walk a bit around the house, which is better than staring at the ceiling while laying on the couch. I am keeping more foods down, which is nice because my gourmet daily menu of crackers, toast, baked potatoes and ramen noodles was getting boring. It is a huge emotional boost to see improvement and know that this misery will end!!!

*Because I am not throwing up as much, I am not dehydrating as often which has had a HUGE impact on my heart. The more water I can keep down, the better my heart behaves itself, which in turn greatly improves my overall health. I still have bad days, but there are some good days sprinkled in now.

*Our church has been amazing. Not only have they extended the meals all the way through JANUARY, but I am also encouraged from the phone calls, visits and cards. They always seem to come when I am really getting depressed!!!! Also, people have been donating money to a "meal fund," so if we need to order carry-out or grab pizza we can. With Chad working long hours, then coming home to spend the evening caring for the girls, running errands, doing housework, paying bills, and all the other things I used to do during the day... you just can't imagine the relief it is to have a hot meal made or be able to have the money to grab a pizza. We have never been in such a loving, compassionate environment, and I am so proud of the wonderful families of our church. It's one thing to help out for a little bit, but as the months drag on we still have so many people praying for us, checking up on us and helping out with child care, meals, etc... What a blessing!!!!

*I can't forget my daily "caregivers." Even as I feel a bit better, the simplest of tasks exhausts me. I am so thankful to my family that continues to come over every morning to help with the girls and keep the house from being declared a disaster zone. I have my regulars of Aunt Sarah, Uncle Johnny and Grandma H, but others have also stepped in when they get a chance or to fill in when needed. Whether they stay and help out at the house or grab the girls and go, either way I know I would not be making the recovery I am without this tremendous amount of help. It means the world to us.

*I have clothes!!!!!! As my size has, er, rapidly expanded, I fast grew out of all but my baggiest sweatpants. I adopted some of my hubby's wardrobe, but was worried about heading to my doctor's appointment in his M&M PJ pants and Bass Pro Shop t-shirts. Being bedridden makes it a bit difficult to shop for maternity clothes, sooooo... my cousin Elizabeth came to the rescue. Her initial box held a couple pairs of jeans (that fit perfectly) and some tops, then the second, larger installment held a good assortment of tops, dress clothes, even a couple jackets. (Oh, and being the bargain hunter she is, Elizabeth couldn't resist throwing in a pair of Merrell shoes for Elianna that she found for a great price.) Yay! I have clothes!!!!!

*We have a furnace!!! We went a week and a half without heat when our furnace bit the dust and our original repairman gave us the run-around (then ended up never showing up). NOT FUN to go from being miserable to being COLD and miserable. We survived, though, and a second guy, a Christian recommended from a friend at church, came out that was just great. He was very sympathetic to our plight and had everything installed and running within days. It's so nice to hear the furnace click on, light, and actually blow out warm air!!! The simple things we take for granted.

Doctor Visit

I don't know if anyone is still checking, since my updates have become so few and far between... A lot is happening, I just never feel well enough to try blogging!!

My last visit was both good and bad. Good because I gained two more pounds and there were still two little heartbeats!!! I am still measuring bigger than average (even for twins!) but only by a couple centimeters. I can't help but get nervous, since I currently weigh 15 pounds less than I did when I delivered Selah. And I am only 16 weeks... *sigh*

The bad news is my heart condition is back. With Selah I developed a heart condition at about 24 weeks, so it was discouraging that it is back already. So, back to the cardiologist I go! Grrr..... My doctor said she suspects that there is an electrical impulse issue, with something misfiring and causing my heart to randomly speed up, pound hard, barely beat or skip beats. Also, my heart rate stays elevated even when I am just laying there (which is all I ever do) and my blood pressure is very low. All of this causes the nausea, disorientation, and fainting I had to deal with the last couple months of Selah's pregnancy. It has not gotten that bad yet, but I have to admit I really struggled with being depressed at the prospect of dealing with this again.

We also had to discuss my surgery options should the twins show signs of twin-twin transfusion. This was also a bit overwhelming, since this surgery is not performed anywhere in Michigan, and she can't guarantee that my insurance will cover it. (It might be new enough to be considered "experimental," which they won't touch.) Of course, I am just praying that I won't need this surgery, but my doctor wants to prepare for it just in case. (Because if I do need it, there is a small window in which it can be safely performed.)

So, overall I left with mixed feelings. I am happy that things are okay so far, but it's hard not to worry about the complications that seem to pile up!!!