Still Puking...

Sorry to be gross, but that about sums it up. I have been feeling worse and worse and can't seem to stop throwing up. Trying not to dehydrate is very difficult at this point, since even a few sips of juice, water, etc... and I throw it all back up. I seem to be able to chew ice chips now and then, so hopefully that will work. Please pray for us!!!!!! I know this has to end sometime, but right now it only seems to be getting worse every day.

Went to the specialist...

They were able to clearly identify that the babies are not in the same membrane, which greatly reduces the complications they will face. Yay! They are equal in size (also a good sign) and had strong heartbeats. They are also making an educated guess that they are identical. They can't tell for sure, but apparently it has something to do with the way the membrane is forming. I am still feeling overwhelmed with it all, but I am always happy to get good news!!! Oh, and Selah informed me that she also has two babies in her tummy. She keeps pulling up her shirt and saying, "See? Really tiny babies in there." Elianna said she has one baby. She had two but she dropped one and it got squished. Graphic, but that's what she said.

My beta levels continue to sky-rocket, though, and as a result I am feeling pretty miserable most days. I am very bored, since reading or watching movies makes me nauseous. Really all I can do is lay there all day, stare at the ceiling, and try not to throw up. Loads of fun. I try to get up and walk around a bit, but the nausea and dizziness is really heavy right now. The doctor said my levels should peak this week, then start to fade. You can guess how I'm praying!!!!

I really don't know what we would do without all the help we are getting. My doctor said the care I am getting is really helping me not get as sick as last time. My family takes turns coming over during the day to care for the girls, help around the house, and we are still getting meals from our church. The meals have been a huge blessing, since not only do they take another burden off of Chad, they have been big enough to provide not just dinner but a few lunches as well! Also, the notes and calls I've gotten always seem to come at just the time I need them. Those who have added us to your church's prayer lists - THANK YOU. We need lots and lots.. and lots of prayer. The constant sickness is wearing me down emotionally, and if it wasn't for prayer sometimes I think I'd have a nervous breakdown. Also, this is hard on Chad and all the family who are doing my job for me (plus all the extra work I cause) while I'm so sick!!!! Argh. This is definitely not the fun part.

My next appointment is the beginning of October. I will have another ultrasound and will be able to pass on more info. They are also recommending an amnio around 16 weeks, so we are praying about that. That's the update for now!

More Big News

I am dragging myself up to the computer to update you all. I apologize that I cannot answer my e-mails individually. I appreciate them and Chad reads them all to me, but I can't sit at the computer very long. So, thanks for all of your well wishes and encouragement. It really does mean a lot to me!!! This is a difficult time emotionally, as you can imagine.

We went for my ultrasound today, and found out I am 8 weeks along giving me a due date of April 21st. (Although, they don't think I will carry full-term, but more about that later.) Being 8 weeks along is a good sign, since by 8 weeks last time around I was dehydrated, anemic, and had lost 13 pounds. (I am slightly dehydrated, but other than that no weight loss or anemia.) My hormone levels are elevated, but not quite as high as last time. (Although the doctor hastened to point out that your hormone levels double every 48 hours for the first 10-12 weeks, so I have plenty of time to get good and sick-er. Gee, thanks!!!)

Now, for the interesting part! She was checking the little jellybean for measurements, heartbeat, etc..., and then she said, "Now we'll just sweep your uterus..." That sounded vaguely like something pertaining to housework so I wasn't all that interested. I saw her stop, look serious, then lean forward. Then the words no one wants to hear from your doctor, she says, "Oh, my." Chad and I both looked at each other. What exactly do you mean by "Oh, my"? She laughed and said, "There's another baby in there!" WHAT?!?!!??! We both just stared at her with these dumb, blank looks. (Which didn't wear off for several hours.) To say we are shocked is an understatement. With my ovarian condition, having an egg mature and go through the process of ovulation is very rare. We know from Selah's existence it is not impossible, but it is very, very rare. (In fact, I got rather tired of all the nurses, techs and doctors asking me, "Are you sure you didn't take fertility drugs?" As if I'm going to slap my forehead and say, "Oh, now that you've asked me ten times, I suddenly remembered!") So, to have TWO eggs ripen at the same time is something of a medical marvel, since many people with my condition never have any. I know some day I will be in tearful awe at the miracle of it all, but now all I am thinking is, "Four kids under four years old?!??!?! AAAAAARGH!!"

Now, on a more serious note, there is a real concern. She was unable to verify that there was a membrane around each baby and is sending me to a specialist. PLEASE pray that the membrane is there, she just couldn't see it, and that it gets thicker by my next appointment so they can verify it. My appointment with the specialist is next Tuesday, and what he finds will determine whether or not I will switch to their office (which is for pregnancies with complications) or be able to stay with my regular obstetrician for the rest of the pregnancy. Either way, now there are a lot more risks and factors involved, and we will need lots and lots of prayer.

Our church has been such a blessing. We just found out that different ladies in the church are signing up to bring us meals twice a week! Since I can barely get off the couch except to go throw up, Chad is being both mommy and daddy right now. He's doing a great job, but naturally it is tiring working all day, then coming home to cook dinner, clean the house, run errands, and care for the girls. These meals will be such a huge help. In fact, they brought the first meal today, and it was DELICIOUS!!! So to anyone from my wonderful church stopping by here, THANK YOU!!!!!

Also, I am so thankful for those who have helped out with the girls. Just coming by to take them outside, feed them lunch, or take them to the park means so much to them and me! They have been having sleepovers at my mom's, and my sis has been helping out with running errands. Uncle Jon even came over and made them a picnic with McD's chicken nuggets! It is very hard not being able to care for your own children. Elianna especially is having a hard time with my illness, since she doesn't understand why I can't get off the couch all day. She is very moody and emotional right now. Selah doesn't seem to care one bit. In fact, when I do try to sit up, she yells at me, "Mommy, lay back down!" I almost think she likes me laying there on the couch all day, since it makes me accessible to her. She is constantly bringing me toys, books, and other things, and seems overall content. She pats my belly and says, "Baby in there? Tiny baby? Selah big girl, Selah hold baby?" Elianna is more interested in what names we are choosing and how much longer I'm going to be sick.

Well, I will try to keep you posted! I may have to teach Chad how to post since this is very difficult for me. Again, I'm sorry I can't answer you all individually, but I do appreciate it all more than you know. Please pray for our babies, and for God's grace as we begin this new adventure!!!!!!

And so it begins...

Well, I have been getting sicker every day, the vomiting has begun in earnest, and by the looks of things this time is going to be as much fun as last time. Ugh. The doctor has brought out the big guns as far as meds go, since last time we waited too long and couldn't stop the vomiting until a lot of damage was done. This is wearing on me mentally as well as physically, since the thought of being this sick again is just overwhelming. Again, just pray for me and my family, that we get through this in one piece. Tuesday I find out how far I am, but the nurse is guessing I'm only a few weeks and the real sickness is yet to come. Sorry to sound so down and negative. We really are excited about the baby, but you can hang the rest of it!!!

The Big News

The test results came back, and the doctor called me to say... we need to run more tests! Argh. So I will be going back September 9th for the last round. One thing they were able to confirm is that we are officially expecting another baby!!!!

We are very excited about having another one, but at the same time I am terrified because of how sick I was last time. I have been feeling pretty lousy so far, but not to that extent yet. We are really praying that this time won't be as bad!!! I won't know until the next round of tests and an ultrasound exactly how far I am/what my due date is. I am rooting for being as far along as possible, but it's not likely.

Thanks to those who have already been helping us out while I've been sick. It is so hard for Chad to single parent when I'm having a rough spell, so helping out with the girls or bringing over a meal has been more of a blessing than you know. If this pregnancy is anything like the last one, we are in for a very long, hard road. Please pray that the Lord will deliver me this time, and also pray for Chad and the girls. Being without a fully functional wife and mother is hard on them, and last time I was pretty sick right to the very end. I will keep you posted when I get the ultrasound and see the little jellybean!

Busy Busy Busy

Things have been CRAZY as you can imagine, and I have lots of pics to upload when I get a chance. Here's a brief recap:

We headed to Muskegon for our annual camping trip/Colombian Connection Picnic. It was nice to be able to go without being sick/pregnant, and the girls are both getting old enough that camping is actually fun! We hung out at the beach and went to the zoo in Grand Rapids again. Lots of fun!

The week after our trip was my sissy's wedding, so you can only imagine the stress level during that time! Fortunately, the wedding went beautifully, and the newlyweds are doing great. We are waiting for our wonderful photographer to finish with the pictures, but if you want a preview there is one picture on Elizabeth's blog!

Wednesday after the wedding Mom and I took the girls to the Toledo Zoo. It was a little sad trying not to think about the last time we were there, Grandma went with us. So many things triggered memories, and although they are happy memories it's sometimes so hard to accept that she is not here. The girls had a lot of fun, though, and the weather was perfect. It was just cool enough that all the animals were out and very active. Selah, like her daddy, was obsessed with the polar bears, while Elianna bounced from exhibit to exhibit.

The weekend after the wedding we headed up north for some much needed R & R. The girls had a riot, and the first day it was hot enough for them to play in the lake! G-ma took us out for ice cream, which made Selah's day. She is an ice cream addict like her daddy, and all the way to the ice cream shop she was saying, "Selah want icy cone! Selah eat icy cone!" (icy cone=ice cream cone, in case you were wondering.) And yes, she does always talk about herself in the third person.

In other news, I have been having some health issues, and have had some tests run. We should get the results back by the end of this week, and quite frankly I really need your prayers!!!! I let you know more when I know more.

I'll get pictures up when I can. I am so behind in uploading it will take me a while to sort through them.

One More Week!

We are down to the last week of wedding preparations!!! (Check out the wedding blog for all the details.) We have SOOO much to do, but everything is rolling right along. My mum-in-law is sewing the vests, and Elianna wanted to help. So, I gave her some pins and fabric to work with. She was so proud to be "helping"!

I am so grateful for everyone that has been pitching in and helping out. We are truly blessed with such a wonderful, supportive group of family and friends!

Girls Night Out!

*UPDATED - See bottom of post!*

When Sarah was a little girl, she declared to my mom that she wanted a surprise wedding. Mind you, she didn't mean that she wanted to surprise her family when she got married, she meant she wanted to show up somewhere and , "SURPRISE! You're getting married today!" Well, unfortunately I wasn't able to fulfill that childhood dream, since I'm pretty sure she knows her wedding is coming up. So, we came up with the next best thing: a surprise bachelorette party! Since I am the entire wedding party in the female category, I decided to enlist our cousins to liven things up. Mind you, I can be a party by myself, but the tendency to nod off or try to wipe someone's nose has crept in since motherhood. Not cool. So I invited some younger, hipper family members (Beth, Rach and Michelle) to help out in the cool category. (Jess & Liz, I SOOO wish you could have rounded out the OVER 18 girl cousin category - we would have had a blast!!!)

We started the evening out with strawberry coladas, virgin of course. (Hey, I am the big sister here.) Jess taught me how to make these and I LOVE them. Then we headed out to Applebees for dinner. Since I am running out of time, money and energy as we enter the wedding home stretch, I don't see a personal shower on the horizon, so we decided to bring the fun gifts now! (Plus, opening kinky gifts in a restaurant was supposed to be embarrassing. I should have known: nothing makes Sarah blush.)

Back to my place afterward, which I had exterminated for husbands and children. (Chad headed to his mom's with the girls for the night.) We enjoyed Fre White Zinfandel and munched on chocolate strawberries and Russel Stovers while soaking our feet in bubbling foot massagers. I chose a movie I felt was appropriate for the occasion, "Down With Love," but we basically blabbed the whole time and didn't really pay attention to it.

Sarah was totally surprised, and we had a really great time. It was nice to kick back, pamper ourselves, and spend time with family that we don't spend enough time with!

*UPDATE*

I added some pics of this event on the wedding website, so you'll have to go there to see them!

Wedding: Munchkin-Free Zone

I had someone ask me on the wedding blog if Sarah & Eric's reception is adults only. I know this is touchy, but unfortunately the answer is yes. The Fellowship Hall of our church will not be set up to accommodate small children, and there will be lit candles, string lights, fountains that can be toppled, among other non-child-proof dangers... This is excepting the wedding party, immediate family and little, non-mobile babies, of course. (So Elijah had better be there!!!) We are very sorry for this inconvenience!!!! Now you have an excuse to get a sitter and enjoy a nice evening out anyway. Thanks for your understanding.

P.S. If you still have not received an invitation or announcement, again I apologize. I am working diligently with the lady I ordered them through, and we are frantically working on it!!! If you have received yours, please don't forget to RSVP! Send back the little reply card or else you can do it on the website here.

Blink

This post from Bring the Rain is an emotional one, but so beautiful I had to share. Angie Smith has a writing style that makes me cry every time... yet without feeling sad. She is the perfect picture of what true peace is like. It doesn't mean you are always sitting around with a serene look on your face, unaffected by the world. It's an inner peace you have even when everything around you seems bent on tearing your heart out. It's real life, and I love her perspective.