Matrimonial Obsession

Elianna has developed a new obsession: Marriage. We went to a wedding last month, and she was hooked! (Her favorite part was when the bride and groom went out to dance the first dance together. She yelled, "I want to dance, too!" and took off for the dance floor. People got a laugh out of it, although Chad and I were a bit embarrassed.) Now, every day she tells me, "I'm going to be a BEE-YOO-tiful Bide." She also tells me every day she is getting "mayored (married) tomorrow." When we visited the farm last week, she informed Mr. John that she was a "bide," so he gave her a bouquet of white flowers and taught her how to do that "wedding march" walk. She took the whole ordeal very seriously:

TWISTER!!!

Wow - what an exciting weekend this turned out to be! And not necessarily in a good way...


We had planned a camping trip BEFORE we knew Chad was going to be out of town until Friday. That means that I get to be home alone with the munchkins as well as trying to get everything packed for our trip. (Not to mention... packing for any outing lasting longer than ten minutes requires a U-Haul with these two princesses.)

So, I am making a last-minute run to the store to get spaghetti noodles. That and garlic bread are my contribution to dinner Saturday, and although I have about 15 boxes of pasta in my cabinet, they encompass every shape from rotini to macaroni to penne... but no spaghetti. I load up the girls who are both cranky and tired and head out to Meijer. I grab what I need and get home without too much fanfare. Once home, I tuck a kid under each arm and toss them in the door, then run out to the car to grab the groceries. I didn't notice Chad was home, nor did I see the card table behind the back door wobbling. I chucked the girls in the door, then pulled it closed as I ran out to grab the food, and apparently the card table fell right on Elianna's head! At first Chad thought it was just a bump, so he picked her up to calm her down... and suddenly there is blood running down his shirt. Yep, there was a little metal piece on the table that gouged her head. Her took her to the shower to clean up, and I grabbed her dress so I could pre-treat it before it stained. (Oops, did I write that out loud?) It is actually a tiny little cut, but being on her head it bled like crazy. We eventually get on the road, and I ask if he got directions. Yep. Did he get them on Mapquest? Nope. Now, let me pause to say that I have always been our official Trip Navigator, since before we even had Mapquest. (Yes, I mapped our route with an old-fashioned map and a highlighter.) Now, when we are planning a trip, I print out directions, maps, and whatever notes I think we'll need and staple them together in neat little bundles of guidance. I was a bit leery of handing over my navigational responsibilities, but I was tired and ready to get on the road. As we are heading out to the car, the phone rings. Aunt Anne is calling from the campground (they went a day earlier) and warning us that a severe storm watch is in effect so drive carefully. Greeeeeeat. We get in the car, and I ask to see the directions. They consist of some handwritten scrawl on the back of a page from his daily calendar. You know, the kind of calendar where you tear off a sheet every day, and then use them to write your grocery list on. I asked, "This is it?" He says, "Yep." No mileage, no exit numbers... just scrawled notes with street names and an "R" or "L" next to each street. This does not bode well. We get on the freeway and we are cruising along. I am going crazy not knowing where we are going. I need E-X-A-C-T information. I mean, how will you have any idea if your exit is the next one or forty miles away?!?? Then, when you get off, how far do you go down each street? 20 yards or 20 miles? WHAT ARE THE ANSWERS TO THESE BURNING QUESTIONS? He doesn't know. Just when I am getting good and stressed... we run head-on into the storm. The radio had been blaring that emergency warning signal, but it still was a bit scary driving into the real thing. Cars lined the shoulder, hazards flashing. We plowed on ahead at about 20 mph, and suddenly I got this sharp pain in my forehead. It's a hereditary thing - my brothers and I get this horrid pain in our forehead... right before a tornado. This can't be happening!!!! I turned up the radio, and sure enough, there was a tornado watch in the county we were driving through. The rain let up a bit, and we drive on... and on, and on, and on. I ask Chad for about the hundredth time "Are you SURE? There was no exit number? No approximate mileage? No landmarks? Hints? Clues? ANYTHING to let us know we are not just driving mindlessly north to Canada?" I think he got sick of my nagging, and after we got through the storm he pulled off and looked at a map in a gas station. (We had forgotten a map, too.) SURPRISE. We were 20 miles north of where we were supposed to be, and the exit he was looking for? It doesn't even exist!!!! (I guess that explains why there was no exit number.) We turned around, and made it to the campground 2 hours late. Poor Aunt Anne was worried sick, assuming the tornadoes had picked us up and carried us off to North Dakota. (It turns out the tornado had hit the town right next to the campground!! Praise the Lord it didn't go any closer - we were all sitting ducks in our campers.)

So, we are at the campground, it is still drizzling rain, there is no power at the park, and everything is closed. Most of the roads are blocked by downed trees, and the humidity is so thick it is choking. Fortunately, the storm cooled the sweltering heat down a bit, so sleeping without our fan wasn't too bad. Everything felt damp, but at least we weren't sweating to death. The weather cleared up the next afternoon, but the power was still out so there wasn't much to do. We had planned on renting a rowboat and hanging out at the lake, but the boat rental was closed and the road to the lake was blocked by trees. We hung out at the campers and played cards with Aunt Anne and Uncle Marcel, took about 37 walks with the girls, and attempted a walk down a nature trail but got lost and ended up on someone's campsite. (oops.) The weather cleared up the day we were leaving and then it was just gorgeous. They took us out for ice cream at a farm with a petting zoo, and Elianna had a blast feeding corn to the goats. I didn't take many pictures, because, well, I was stressed and grumpy and didn't feel like it. When we left to go home, we drove through a little town called Fenton, and we were just shocked at the damage by the tornado. Houses had trees uprooted, tearing up most of their lawns, landscaping on the roof, smashed windows... one house had a tree right through it! It was bad, and less than 5 or 10 miles from where we were camping!!! Yikes. Needless to say, the trip home went much quicker, since we didn't add an extra 40 or so miles to the trip. It was one of those trips where I came home just wiped out!!! So much for a quiet relaxing weekend...

New Game

Selah has a new game she loves to play: EMPTY IT OUT! It doesn't matter what, if it's in a container of any kind, she dumps it out. Elianna keeps all her baby dolls and accessories in a basket, and Selah will take everything out, one at a time. (If she would only find as much pleasure in putting it all back!)
As she was emptying it out today, she picked up this (ANNOYING) doll that starts crying until you give it a bottle. I loved the look on her face, as if she was thinking, "What's this thing's problem, and how do I shut it up?!"

First Pony Ride

We headed out to the country fair last week, and we were really impressed with it. All the "big" rides with the obnoxious music were on the opposite end of the "kiddie" rides. I didn't get a lot of pictures, since Selah and I rode most of the rides with Daddy and Elianna. Hey, they made me pay admission for Selah, so I was getting my money's worth. We ran into our friends from down the street, and Elianna loved having a friend to share the rides with.



And the favorite still was... the carousel!! As Grandma discovered earlier...




I also got some pictures and a video clip of Elianna's first pony ride! She wanted to ride them SO badly when she went to the fair earlier with Grandma, so Grandma gave her the money to ride them later when we took her. She absolutely LOVED the ponies, and she really enjoyed her ride. When it was done, she didn't want to leave "her" pony! She just stood by her and kept petting her like she was saying good-bye to an old friend.

Half Century Club!!!!!

What an odd coincidence! Both my parents and Chad's parents turn the big 5-0 this year! We decided to have a BBQ to celebrate, and it was so much fun. The weather was picture perfect, and we had so much food we ate till we were sick. Then ate some more. The menu included Spinach Artichoke Dip, Bacon Onion Wraps, Tortilla Pinwheels, Grilled Pork Chops, Glenn's Signature Roasted Redskin Potatoes, Stuffed Jalapenos, and crackers with cream cheese and my dad's secret recipe jalapeno jelly. Yum. We played Croquet and City Shoes (also called Bulls eye Washers), and all the kids played in the sand box. And by all the kids, I mean Elianna and her aunt, uncle, and uncle-to-be. (Yes I have pictures!)
We went inside for coffee and dessert (lemon pie and blueberry pie a la mode), where we sang "Happy Birthday" and they all blew out candles. Then, we settled into the living room for Family Feud. No, we didn't all start fighting, I mean we played the game! Cyndi had found the game on DVD, and we played three fierce rounds. The Vellas powered their way to a second place finish while the Harveys managed to come in next to last. Oh wait, I was on the Harvey team, so let's say it right: Harveys won!! (Hee, hee, isn't it funny how the truth can sound very different depending how you write it?) It didn't start raining until the party was over - hooray! We had a lot of fun - can't wait for the next excuse for another party...

Okay, here are the pictures!

Croquet Pictures

Elianna had lots of fun running through our Croquet game. Hey, it kept the game interesting!

Unfortunately, the game turned violent when we reached the "Poison" stage.

Playing "City Shoes." Just look at that form, that style! (Okay, the game lasted forever since they all pretty much stunk at it.)

Everyone stuffed their faces with lots of yummy food.

Just the guys hanging out

The "kids" play in the sandbox

The HALF CENTURY CLUB

We only did one candle each, you know how weak the lungs of the elderly can be...

Visiting the Farm

Okay, to my military friends and family, DON'T LAUGH. When Chad goes out of town, I need a baby-sitter. Not for the girls... for me. I hate being by myself!!! So, since he has been travelling quite a bit lately, I have been arranging sleepovers with obliging friends and family members. Of course, I try to warn them: We don't visit, we COLONIZE. In a matter of minutes after our arrival, you will sense our presence in every room. A stack of books here, a sippy cup there... Not to mention the fact it takes about five trips from the car to bring in all the stuff we need for an overnight stay. ANYWAY, the lucky recipient of our sojourns last week was my Aunt Rene. My mom even came with us, and we had so much fun! Elianna loves to visit the farm, especially if "Meesta John" (Mr. John, Aunt Rene's fiance who lives just a few miles down the road) is there. He is just a big, loud kid himself, emphasis on the LOUD part, so naturally Elianna thinks he is just the greatest thing. She follows him all over the place, and he is always up for something fun. He even grabbed her and they ran outside after 10:00 to play with flashlights. I think you could hear them in Chicago running around and shrieking...

Speaking of shrieking, we had an unexpected guest that night. We were sitting up LATE that night blabbing, as only three women can do, when we hear this "squeak." We all agreed it sounded like a bat, and later I heard what sounded like a hiss. Well, as soon as we turned out the lights to go to bed, Batley decided to come join our party! (The joys of country living.) He swooped and fluttered and seemed to be enjoying himself... until Aunt Rene bonked him with a broom. I don't know what was funnier, the fact that he didn't seem to mind or the fact that she kept apologizing to him! There she was, trying to shoo him out the door saying, "Oops, sorry! Get out, get out.. Oops! Sorry!" Yes, she had to say "Oops, sorry!" every time she hit him. After chasing him around for a while (and this is 2:30 in the morning, might I add) my mom got the brilliant idea to throw a sheet on him. So, they each grabbed a sheet, and attempted to throw them at our little dive-bombing friend. I mostly hid in the other room and took pictures, so I wasn't much help. We finally gave up, and ended up sleeping with him circling overhead all night. In the morning, he decided to roost (or whatever you call it when bats sleep) right on the wall! It's funny how cute and tiny he looked during the day. I will try to get the pics uploaded, and I had a video clip of Aunt Rene shooing him with the broom. Unfortunately, my mom was "herding" the bat towards the door by holding up a blanket, and she kept holding it up in front of my camera. (Darn them, can't they see I'm trying to get blog fodder here?!?!) I'll see what I can do.

The next day, although it was hard to top the Bat Adventure, we went to see a herd of longhorn steers. Elianna wanted to ride them, but was eventually content to just watch them. We went to a nearby lake as well, but it was too chilly and windy to go swimming. It is a beautiful lake, though - the water is turquoise and very warm and shallow. We ended the day by being treated to dinner at the restaurant where Aunt Rene works, and by this time (almost 6:00) my napless daughters were getting to be quite disagreeable. Fortunately we managed to have a yummy dinner before being asked to leave (just kidding), and I packed the girls into the car and hoped they'd sleep all the way home. (They didn't.) We had a great time, and since we were invited back I don't think we scared them too much!

Here is Aunt Rene trying to get the bat outside... without hurting him. Mom is holding up a sheet to keep the bat from flying back into the living room. (This was before she started throwing the sheet at the bat.) We were remarkably calm, but keep in mind it was the middle of the night and we were not fully awake.

All Done!!!

I was snuggling with Selah last night, and she was wiggling all over the place...as usual. (We like to joke that you don't hold Selah, you wrestle her! She likes to cuddle when she's in the right mood, but the rest of the time she is a ball of energy.) Anyway, Chad looked over and started laughing. Since she was facing away from me, I couldn't see it, but as I was kissing and loving on her she was frantically signing "All Done!" Finally she started yelling "Ahh Dah! Ahh Dah!" and signing it quite forcefully. Fine. I can take a hint.

One of Those Days

All, or at least a lot of, mothers secretly wonder if everyone else thinks their kids are monsters. I mean, we see them at their best and their worst, and it all seems to balance out. Sure they have their bad days, but are they that bad? They can be so sweet and adorable sometimes! Feedback from the outside world is unpredictable and inconsistent. The same day I have a librarian commend my girls for their exceptional behavior at the library, I get "the look" from my mother when my daughter goes streaking through the house butt naked singing at the tops of her lungs. So I am left to wonder as to my child's true identity, and my opinion sways based on the day's evidence. Today, I am firmly convinced my eldest daughter's sole purpose in life is to drive me crazy. Here is the evidence:

I put Selah down for her morning nap, and tried to grab a quick shower. It was almost 11:00 after all, and I was still in my jammies with my hair askew. I told Elianna to play outside the door, which I left open so I could watch her, and warned her that, sudsy and dripping wet or not, I would come out if necessary. "I be a GOOD girl." she assured me. What I could see of her through the curtain she seemed to be playing happily, and for a moment I congratulated myself on my self-sufficient, obedient child. The warm fuzzy feeling was not to last long. When I got out of the shower, I discovered that she had been playing with a basket of hair accessories that contained, oh, about 974 tiny little clips, rubber bands, bows, and goodness knows how many other delightful choking hazards that were now strewn all over her bedroom floor. I told her to clean it up, and after picking up about three clips she decided to dump out her Mega blocks instead. So, I did the calm rational thing. I locked her door, and told her she wasn't coming out until it was all cleaned. She immediately threw a tantrum, and declared "She loved Daddy and wanted him to come home." I got the hint, but felt like yelling back, "I want him to come home, too! I would rather be at the mall drinking Starbucks and trying on shoes than engaging in a battle of the wills with a precocious two-year-old!" Instead,I just went in, hugged her and had a heart-to-heart talk about how dangerous it would be for Selah to eat her hair stuff, so hurry and get it all cleaned before she wakes up. I went to make lunch, and miraculously she picked up all the hair stuff. Crisis averted. Then the phone rings. Now, with Elianna the phone ringing triggers a primeval response from deep within that demands my attention at any cost. She will do, quite literally, anything to get my attention while I am on the phone, but I figured with the whole hair accessory incident behind us, our relationship had progressed beyond this. I was wrong. In the first two minutes of conversation, Elianna climbed up on the counter and nearly emptied a bottle of seasoned salt all over everything. Pausing, of course, to draw some cool designs in the process. I put her in time out, and started cleaning up the mess. Mom somehow managed to give me "the look" over the phone (how mothers manage to send their disapproval over the telephone wires, I'll never know) and stated the obvious, "It's because you're on the phone." I took this as a dare, as if she was saying, "Well, we can cut our conversation short, but then you will be giving in to the whims of the child you apparently cannot control." Hmmmm. So, I decided to prove my parenting and multi-tasking skills and finish our planning. (That was the reason for the call - we were planning a trip out of town.) I then casually mentioned something I had written for a contest, and decided it was safe to run upstairs for two minutes to read her the little blurb I had entered. When I came back downstairs, Elianna had been feverishly scooping ground coffee out of the coffee can... into my coffee cup. Maybe she thought I needed the boost, but since I only drink decaf this was rather pointless. Hearing me coming down she panicked and tried to cover up her crime by pouring the grounds (and my coffee) back into the can. Back into time out she went, with a swat for good measure. I cleaned the mess while she bawled. I am still trying to downplay this all to my mother, and at the same time talk faster so we can finish up and I can settle my children down. (Selah woke up during the clean-up of the coffee incident and was crawling around merrily throughout all of this.) Suddenly I realize that Elianna is sitting very quietly in time out. A little too quietly. So quietly, it's almost as though she... isn't even there. Because she wasn't. She had sneaked into the other room with a bottle of cocoa butter and was applying it all over herself and anything within reach. By this time, I have remembered why I never attempt phone conversations while Elianna is awake, and decide not even to answer my phone the rest of the day. It doesn't help. Elianna goes on to play a fun game called Empty Out Every Container of Toys and then Refuse to Pick Any Up, and I spend the next 30-45 minutes begging, threatening, cajoling, beseeching, and anything else short of hollering like a redneck trailer queen to get her to pick everything up. Slowly but surely, she does manage to put the bulk of it back in its appropriate containers, and I am delighted to see that it is FINALLY nap time. I resist the urge to chuck her into her bed from the hallway, instead spending some time cuddling her and letting her know I do love her... even when she makes me crazy. She smiles at me sweetly and says, "When I wake up, I want to play with Sissy!"
Oh dear, I'd better go hide the baby.

A Mother's Sacrifice

There are things you do for your kids that there is NO WAY you would do under any other circumstances. This weekend, I had to overcome one of my phobias for the good of my child. We went back up to the lake to visit G-ma and G-pa, and Elianna was begging to go swimming. Selah also absolutely LOVES being in the water, but there is no way I could reasonably expect Chad to watch both of them, even armed with their flotation devices. Enter my phobia: swimming in water where I can't see the bottom. I like nice clean pools, preferably WARM clean pools. Lakes, although beautiful and serene from the surface, are the stuff of nightmares underneath. (In my mind, anyway.) Still, I decided to face my fears and actually go swimming with my family... and try not to terrify my daughter in the process. I waded out, and the first few steps were nice and sandy. Cool, I can handle this. Once the sand ended, though, I stepped into this velvety muck full of all manner of poky unidentifiable things that sucked at my feet. EEWWW! Chad told me to just float, so I tucked a life jacket under my arm and floated... right into (what felt like) the embrace of a man-eating octopus. Okay, it was a thick weed bed, but let me tell you when you're floating along and suddenly things are wrapping around your legs and ankles... an innocent weed is not the image your mind conjures. EEWWW AGAIN! Elianna and Selah were floating and splashing and having a great time. Chad and G-ma were having a great time watching me gulp and try to force a smile whenever Elianna looked at me. If she could sense my discomfort, she didn't care. Which was a good thing - Chad didn't need two females freaking out in the middle of the lake. I wish I could say I eventually relaxed and enjoyed myself, but no, I didn't. I will swim in the lake when I am needed, but my legs are tingling right now just at the memory!!! The girls had a blast, though. Splashing and kicking all over the water, pulling up lily pads, giggling and shrieking as loud as they could so they could hear their echo. They had fun, that's all that matters.

Besides the "Swimming Incident," it was a fun weekend. Elianna just loves going up there. She spends her days looking for acorns to throw at the ducks (and getting irritated when they won't eat them), exploring all over the yard, playing in the sand, or snuggling up with G-pa or G-ma. This time she had two new toys - a bubble kit with all different kind of bubble blowers. (Most of which Mommy couldn't figure out, and one of which gave Elianna a mouthful of bubble solution!) Once Daddy explained them to us, though, she blew bubbles to her heart's content. The second was a H-U-G-E Nemo coloring book. Elianna had a great time sprawled on the floor trying every single color of crayon and colored pencil on her Nemo picture. Selah got a Baby Glo-worm that has become one of her absolute favorite toys. She got so attached, they let her take it home! G-ma took me and Selah out to lunch, which was a nice treat. We went to the "Lumberjack Cafe" where they had all kinds of log furniture and home decor. I could have spent a fortune - I love that stuff! But, I refrained, and we had a fun time out. I think I've been taken out to lunch twice in as many years!!! So it's rare and appreciated when I get to go out.

We had to leave a bit early on Sunday after church, since we then headed down to Nanna's to see some family visiting from Canada. Elianna got to meet some more cousins, and we all trooped outside to play a rousing game of "Duck Duck Goose" with a four-year-old, two two-year-olds, and about 7 adults. You had to be there, but it was pretty funny. What a busy day to end a busy weekend!!!!

Where Does the Pilot Sit Again!?

Chad's mom just bought some new lift-the-flap books, which Elianna just loves. In one book, there is a picture of an airplane. When you lift the flap, you can see the cockpit. Grandma read it to her, and said, "See this is the cockpit, where the pilot sits." Elianna looked confused at this, and said, "This pit?" And lifted her arms. Grandma explained, "No, it's called a cockpit, not an armpit." We assumed she understood, but a couple days later she asked for Grandma to read to her. Grandma asked, "Which book do you want to look at?" and Elianna yells, "Armpit!"