Curse of the Pink Pirate

Okay, this post might very well cost me my marriage, but I think I have proven that my sense of humor often supersedes my sense of kindness and decency.

I was coming home from grocery shopping, oblivious to what was going on in my home. I had made the mistake of leaving my precious, impressionable children with their father AND Uncle Jonny. Either one of these particular adult figures is a dangerous influence at best, but combined... I don't know what I was thinking. Anyway, I arrive home to find our truck parked in the street in front of our house, so I pull into the driveway. I was just grabbing a few bags when I hear an engine rev and a SMASH. I turned around to see that someone (very quickly) pulling out of the driveway across the street had backed right into my truck!!!!! They hit it so hard it actually moved the truck over a few inches... very nearly into the ditch. I'm standing there staring in shock, when what do you suppose comes charging out of MY HOUSE. My darling husband... dressed as a pirate. Oh, and not just any pirate. Apparently, the only head gear he could find (to imitate that turban like head wrap all true pirates wear) was my daughter's fuzzy pink blanket. And the only appropriate nose ring he could find was... a large, dangly rhinestone-studded clip-on earring from her wedding dress-up kit. His eyes were flashing and he calls to me, "Someone just hit our truck!" He comes charging down the driveway, apparently having completely forgotten his attire. I barely had time to sputter out a response that came out something like, "You are NOT going over there dressed like that!" He hesitates, and you can see the realization dawn on him that he almost stormed over and confronted a very inebriated redneck... while dressed as a pink pirate. At this time, my brother bursts out to see what the commotion is about, and he is dressed in a large Target bag. (He cut leg holes out, and looped the handles over his shoulders.) Very disturbing. Have you ever had one of those moments where you think the world has gone mad? Yeah?

Welcome to my life.

P.S. In case you were wondering what happened to the inebriated redneck, Chad called the police, who administered a breathalyzer and arrested the guy. There were open canS (yes, plural) of beer all over the truck, and they didn't even have the sense to throw them away before the police came. I guess I'd rather they smash into my parked truck than a car with people in it!!!! What an idiot. I hope they throw the book at the guy - there is absolutely no excuse for getting behind a wheel while drunk. Accidents happen, but I have no tolerance for drunk drivers.

I'm a Mailbox Assassin!!!

Did you ever just have one of those days? I seem to have them with disproportionate frequency. A few weeks ago I was visiting my mom, right when Selah was just getting over that last tummy bug. It had been a bad few days, since when Selah vomits, she turns into a human sprinkler. So, not only do I have to settle her down and clean her up, clean myself and change all my clothes, I usually have to use about 1/2 bottle of Oxy Power Fantastic on my carpet, furniture, walls, etc... I was stressed and exhausted, and the kids were grumpy. I ran out to start my truck, which was parked in front of my parents' house, and decided to pull it into the driveway to be closer to the door for loading up. I glanced in my mirror, looked over my shoulder, and backed up. CRUNCH. I backed right over the neighbor's mailbox. Grrr... I was ready to cry at this point, but instead I took a deep breath and went and knocked on their door. I calmly apologized and left her my number. I told her I was willing to pay for a new mailbox, and sorry for the trouble, etc... She was as sweet and bubbly as always, saying "Oh, don't worry honey. God does all things for a reason." Yeah, only this reason seems to be for a wealthy family to get a mailbox paid for by us, when we can barely makes ends meet anyway, because I decided to murder an innocent mailbox. (Hey admit it, I'm not the only one who gets a bad attitude when God is teaching you a lesson!! At least she wasn't mean and cussed me out...) Not helping my poor attitude was the fact that we have not had positive experiences with the lady's husband. The guy was mowing his lawn once, and actually CHASING neighbor kids around with the blades engaged. Slash Tag everyone, sounds like fun! On top of that, this same Einstein who chases kids with lawnmowers for fun once buzzed right by my terrified two-tear-old while mowing one day. Elianna was following Chad around my parent's yard (there is no fence between them) and the guy comes whirring right by just feet away. Chad whirled around to get Elianna, and there she was cowering down on her knees petrified. The guy didn't even stop. Chad scooped her off and stormed to our car, and the guy buzzes by AGAIN and this time his blades throw a rock that smack Chad right in the neck. Chad was perturbed, to say the least. So today, I get a message on my answering machine. "Hi, this is Mrs. _________, your parent's neighbor. I just wanted to let you know we got a new mailbox and it cost $100. Have a blessed day!" BLESSED day!?!?! Why does she keep invoking God's name? And it's not like God was going to bless me anyway with my cranky attitude. For one thing, I didn't know a new mailbox costs $100!??! Did they find one that addresses and stamps mail for you? Scans it and incinerates junk mail automatically? Writes back all those credit card companies and demands to be taken off their mailing lists? I mean seriously, $100!??! OUCH! (Okay, I had a comment reprimanding me for complaining about the cost, so I need to point out that this part is supposed to be funny for those who don't see the humor!) *sigh*We had a kind older lady slide on the snow and hit our mailbox last winter, and we graciously replaced it. Ourselves. Still, I knew at the end of the day, it was the right thing to do. Chad, who still can't stand him anyway because of all the lawnmower incidents, told me although I had no legal obligation to replace the mailbox, we both agreed that we were morally obliged to make things right. Now, it's always harder to make things right with someone who you don't particularly like (it was much easier helping out the nice old lady who smashed not one but TWO mailboxes on our street). Even if we can only afford to send them $10 at a time, our integrity is worth $100, and technically... I did crush their (nice) mailbox!!!!



P.S. Here's a picture of what we can afford versus what they bought:

Har, har, couldn't help it.

Selah's Stats

I took Selah for her 15-month Well Child Check. (I can't believe she is growing up so fast!!!) The little booger managed to be sick at the time of her appointment, so she got out of getting her vaccinations. (She only needs one more anyway.) She is hanging right in at the 50th percentile, except for her weight, which was only 25th percentile due to her illness. (She had yet another tummy bug and was vomiting and had diarrhea the four days leading up to her visit. Needless to say, she lost almost two pounds!) I asked the doctor about all these tummy issues, and she said it just sounds like she is going to be susceptible to those kinds of viruses. She assured me she did not have the symptoms of a more serious gastrointestinal issue, lactose intolerance, or celiac issues as I had feared. Phew!! What a relief!! While Elianna is more susceptible to the colds and respiratory problems (and has only thrown up once in her life), Selah rarely gets colds (and only gets the sniffles at the most) but catches every tummy bug that goes around. *sigh* At least they provide some variety. Selah is feeling better now, and eating like a piggy. So, I'm sure she's already gained her weight back!!!

As fussy/crabby as she was for her doctor visit, being sick and all, she still was able to dazzle the doc with her vocabulary. She happily pointed out and named body parts and prattled other favorite words. Her vocabulary was at 30+ words last count, with new ones being added every day, and she is already forming two word phrases. She also knows a rather motley assortment of animal sounds: Owl, kitten, dog, bear, mouse and bird, yet she is stumped by the usual cow, pig or sheep. Go figure. The doctor said she is happy for a 15-month-old to say 5 words, so she was very happy about her large vocabulary. She attributed this partly to my "No TV" campaign and lots and lots... and LOTS of reading. (Selah is just as addicted to books as her sister, probably one of the only things they actually have in common. Anyone caught sitting around her will be brought a book and be demanded to read.)

So, I am thankful for a happy, overall healthy and normally developing child. I do not take this kind of thing for granted, since it is not really in our hands!!!! We can do what we can to stimulate and teach our children, but there are some things, both mentally and health wise, and are simply out of our control. So I try to remind myself to be thankful for these seemingly mundane check-ups, when there are mothers struggling with special needs children who would love to have a normal, mundane check-up. The Lord has a different plan and purpose for each child... not to mention each parent.

Wedding Website

I discovered Momentville from a friend, and thought it was a very cool website. So, I've talked Sarah and Eric into making a wedding website, and we would love all of you to check it out, sign the guestbook, leave comments, take our polls, ask questions, RSVP, etc... The only thing I do NOT like at the site is the wedding day countdown. As the planner, the last thing I need is a deadline!!! ;0) We are still working on it, so pardon us while we continue working on it. Anyway, check it out:

Eric and Sarah's Wedding

Beautiful Bride

Here are some more pics (above) and a video (below) of Elianna in her Bridalware. And of course, Little Sissy had to jump in the action, even though she was still in her jammies... (She did consent to a boa and a small bouqet, but only for about 5 seconds.) We got a CD of love songs at a wedding reception (they were the wedding favors - what a cool idea!) and Elianna just loves that CD. She was all decked out, minus the shoes since she couldn't dance without tripping, and dancing away to "At Last," so I had to break out the video. Her mini bridesmaid/sister danced along, but her dance looked suspiciously like the "Hokey Pokey." It's funny how Elianna takes it all so seriously, and then there's her little goofball sister. What a pair.

Christmas Day!

Our tradition has been, for the last few years, to spend the night at my parents' house on Christmas Eve and have a big, loud, chaotic Christmas morning with them and my siblings. (This year we were joined by our soon-to-be official new member of the family, Uncle-to-be Eric!!) Dad made Belgian waffles (YUM), so we got lots of cool stuff and ate like pigs. Hey, I know that's not a very pious sounding description of our celebration, but it's an honest one!

Jon and I were really enjoying Selah's new Rainbow Aquadoodle, so of course, Chad had to snap a picture.

Eric and Sarah brought over Kitty, decked out in her Holiday Fashions.

Sarah and Eric seem more impressed with that dalmatian that barks Christmas songs (very annoying) than Selah was. She kept looking at it like "What the heck is that?!?!"

Elianna looks shocked at all the gifts!! Hey, with 9 people the stuff piles up...

Papa let Selah try out his swiveling hunting seat.

Selah, the Cuddle Bug.

Elianna's new camera, which we practically have to surgically remove from her hands. Anyone who has had a camera around her knows she is quite the shutterbug anyway, so this gift was a huge hit. You can check out Grandma's blog to see her post of Elianna's view of the world. (She let her use her camera to take pics around the house.) It's pretty cool seeing things from a two-year-old's perspective!

Playing with her new cash register.

Mommy helping Selah open gifts. Normally, Elianna helps, but she was too enthralled with her own presents.

A rare picture of Daddy. This Christmas, Daddy took over camera duty, so for once there are a ton of pics of me, and only a couple of Daddy!!!


Elianna modeling more of her Bridalware. I got her a wedding dress (on clearance for $4 after Halloween - go me!) and my mom made her this beautiful veil and bought her satin gloves and two bouquets. (Yes, two. She's catching on to this whole "sisters fighting over toys" thing.)


Mom trying out her mixer cover... Yes, it fit.

For some reason, Elianna decided to go lay down amongst all our loot. Yes, this is everyone's presents all mixed up together with all the wrapping paraphernalia. Papa H, this picture is for you! At Chad's family, gift opening is very calm and orderly. (His dad is an ex-Marine, if that tells you anything.) Each gift is opened one at a time, and all the attention must be on the person opening the gift. Oh, and it is a serious crime to open any packaging or read any information on your gift, you must simply open it and then go on to the next person, cleaning up the wrapping paper behind yourself. Needless to say, here at my family's it is the diametric opposite. The only calm time is as we are passing all the presents out, then everyone viciously attacks their pile in no particular order. We attempt to go one at a time, but even that gets blurred a bit. We watch each other to some degree, but for the most part it is a frenzied free-for-all. So, my kids get the best of both worlds, and they seem to like aspects of both methods!! We couldn't help but laugh at the mess we made, and pictured Chad's dad curled up in a fetal position or yelling at us all to drop and give him 50.

Christmas Jammies

We have a tradition in our family - my sister and I always get new, matching jammies for Christmas. This year, she also bought new jammies for the girls! (They don't match ours, but they match each other. We couldn't find any in a large enough size span for us all to match!) Personally I think the girls look much cuter, but here are all the new Christmas Jammies! (And you can see my darling daughter bonking me on the head with a wedding bouquet.)

A New Housework Helper

Todd is still Elianna's constant companion. It is very interesting to see the behaviors of mine she imitates with Todd. (And sometimes it's a little bit too honest!!!) This particular day she decided to teach Todd how to put the laundry in the dryer. (This has been her job for over a year, and she takes it very seriously. I put the laundry on the dryer door, and she throws it in, adds a dryer sheet, and shuts the door.) I really thought it was cute the way she even put the sock on his little paw, then she would lift him up so he could "toss" the sock into the dryer.
Once the clothes are dry, she helps me carry them to the couch to fold them. (I can never find a basket when I need one, and although it means making a couple trips from dryer to couch I'm too lazy to run upstairs for one.) Finally, once folded, she puts her clothes and Selah's clothes away in their dressers. She is really turning into my little helper! I don't think Todd is catching on, though...

Return of Shredder

This picture was actually taken in early December, but I'm just now getting around to it...

Elianna has always loved scissors, but for the most part she only cut a fringe around whatever she was chopping. Not to be outdone by her sister's newest shredding phase, she suddenly just cut all the way across the paper. Once she figured that out, she just kept cutting, and cutting... and cutting. She will not rest until everything in our house is turned into confetti.

Wedding Bells Ahead...

Now that the holidays are over, it's time to step into my role as Official Wedding Planner for my sister and future brother-in-law. We are getting down to the wire, as they have settled on March 14th for their wedding date. It's going to be a fairly small wedding, so I shouldn't be as stressed as I am. I guess it's my own OCD that's driving me batty. At least my sis is the OPPOSITE of Bridezilla. She is so passive and easy-going!!!! She will pop in and occasionally try to argue with me, and then I have to remind myself that her opinion does matter. (hee, hee, just kidding.) Right now I need to focus on what I can get done in advance, so there's that much less to do last-minute. Wish us all luck!! It's going to be a crazy couple months.

P.S. I did find a beautiful dress for me on ebay - yippee!~!